Normal is as normal does

I had a CT scan last week to mark the end of 6 months of chemo. The scan would tell us whether the chemo had continued to work and whether or not I could take a break from chemo. The good news is that the chemo did its job and that I'm now on a chemo break.

With metastatic cancer, stable cancer presence is considered a win. My recurrence was isolated to a few lymph nodes and small to start with and they have shrunk to an unremarkable size which is great. The plan now is that I am off treatment until the cancer shows itself again.

I did say until up there. 

I'll tell you the rest of the story later, it involves me crying for the first time in front of my oncologist, but for the time being you should know that the chemo is working and I'm glad to take this much needed emotional and physical break, but the happy is mixed with sad. Even though the scans can't see my cancer and even though I tolerate chemo like a GD champ and even though I'm steeped deep in loads of all kinds of love, I'm still considered incurable and that is a sucky word to have floating around your head.